Tails' Wasted Time
by Dr Namgge
Summary: Tails has some time to kill, and an idea how to do it. Déja Vu?


-1"Okay… TailsxMarine is a new one on me," Tails murmured as he looked at the screen, "But that now makes three love interests for me and I'm only eight. Is it an unwritten rule of fan fiction that anyone under ten has to be paired together; or are half the writers closet paedophiles?" Tails looked at it for a second; curious he began reading.

"_Oh Tails I love you mate," Marine said. Tails blushed upon hearing it. He didn't quite have the courage to say it for himself, but he didn't get much of a chance to as Marine launched her mouth atop his. They held each other in their sweet embrace._

_Pulling away Tails answered, "I love you too Marine," the Kitsune paused for a moment, "But I have to get going. I promised Sonic I would fix the Tornado for him, and if I don't then we'll never be able to get up to Angel Island in time for Knuckles' party. _

Tails did a double take at this moment, "A party for Knuckles? I don't think Knuckles would ever appreciate such a thing." Tails kept looking over the offerings. A story about inter-dimensional travel took his scientific interest for a moment. Unfortunately sneezing while clicking doesn't always take someone where they wanted to go and Tails struggled to read.

_Amy: I'll C U 2nit_

_Sonic: OK_

_Eggman: appears from behind sonic not if I can help it lol_

"Oh what in the name of Mobius is this? Script format? Text talk shorthand? Seriously? Nobody talks like that. Ever. I wonder if the writer actually says "lol" when he wants to laugh?" Tails ranted to no-one in particular. Tails felt compelled to leave a review.

_Script format is awful. This is not something anyone would say. You really need to work on your use of English. In particular "lol" is not a word, and text shorthand makes this more difficult to read than it already is. This needs a lot of work to improve._

Feeling stressed Tails got up, and wandered off to get a drink. Could humans really be that dumb at times? Tails shrugged it off, and was interrupted from returning to his computer by a telephone call. Tails spent the next half hour explaining why he didn't need double glazing for his fish tank. Eventually returning to his computer, he found an email waiting for him. Tails opened it up.

_Shut it U. ur just an abusive troll. Im just ritin storys. Im gonna report U 2 a mod._

Looking back at the reviews for the story, he found that his comments had already been removed. Tails sighed and gave up. It was obvious that the writer didn't appreciate being helped, and was quite happy to make himself look stupid. Tails figured it was best to leave him at it, and continued browsing. Tails made a mental note to avoid anyone who spelt there name with text talk shorthand, and opened another story.

_**HAHA PWN'D YOU NEWFAG**_

Tails blinked. He refreshed the story, it still read the same. Tails clicked back to the story list screen and out of curiosity re-clicked the same story. It still read the same. "Damn trolls," Tails muttered, "If anyone needs modding, it'll be this guy."

Tails kept reading, finding several more stories like this, "Doesn't look like a spambot; too varied to be one of them. Not even Robotnik could make something with that sort of A.I." Tails said, mumbling quietly to himself, "At least I hope not anyway." Tails opened another story.

"_Tails, I've got some news for you. You'd best sit down though," Sonic said cautiously, unsure how Tails would take this news, "I'm pregnant!"_

_"I err, oh what?" Tails stammered._

_"The doctor checked me over, I'm six weeks pregnant." Sonic repeated._

_"But how?" Tails said again, still confused._

_"And that's not all Tails, you're the father."_

_"But that's impossible…_

"I agree," Tails said in disbelief, "Not only is it scientifically impossible for a man to impregnate another man, but neither I nor Sonic would ever get into that situation, and for the final reason, I'm only eight." Tails shook his head. Although he was clever, and had read about how animals have young, it was not something he'd ever wanted to. He knew one day he would, but for now Tails still saw girls as icky things, and he had no desire to involve himself in those sort of antics for a while.

Tails was slowly getting fed up of reading fan fiction. It was for this reason he understood why Sonic had thrown the computer out of the window when he had tried it not too long ago. Sonic had warned him against looking through fan stories, but Tails' curiosity had finally got the better of him. Tails was beginning to regret this, and another poorly written text talk shorthand story had all but convinced him.

"One more story," Tails finally said, "if this one's terrible then I think I'll give up." With that tails clicked a story called 'Tail's Wasted Time' and began reading.

_You have been banned from this site for abusive behaviour._


End file.
